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  "volume_title": "늘봄의 생활",
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  "local_bom_number": 34,
  "title": "봄34. 나를 찾아가는 여행",
  "author": "유종열",
  "original_written_at": "2004-01-30",
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  "canonical_text": "\n\n\n봄34.\n\n나를 \n찾아가는\n\n여행\n\n\n나를 \n찾아가는 \n여행은 \n\n밖으로 \n가는 \n길이 \n아니라 \n\n안으로 \n가는 \n길이다.\n\n먹고 \n사는 \n데만 \n\n정신을 \n팔고 \n살던 \n\n과거의 \n삶의 \n방식을 \n\n근본적으로 \n바꾸는\n\n삶의 \n길이다. \n\n눈을\n감고 \n\n아무 \n것도 \n하지\n않고 \n\n나를 \n찾아 \n\n내면만 \n바라보자는\n것이 \n아니다. \n\n먹고 \n살기 \n위해 \n\n생각하고,\n말하고, \n\n뛰어다니는 \n모습을 \n\n바라보고, \n\n알면서\n살자는 \n것이다. \n\n사물에 \n\n한눈을 \n팔고 \n사는 \n바람에 \n\n잃어버린 \n본연의\n나를 \n\n되찾자는 \n것이다. \n\n나를 \n잃어버렸다고는\n하지만 \n\n내가 \n어디로 \n사라진 \n것은 \n아니다. \n\n나라고 \n하는 \n\n가짜의 \n나만 \n비우면 \n\n거기에 \n\n본연의 \n나는\n\n저절로\n드러난다. \n\n가짜의 \n나(소아)가 \n\n진짜의 \n나(대아)를 \n\n가리고 \n있었던 \n것이다.\n\n평상시에 \n우리는 \n\n가짜가 \n\n우리 \n몸을 \n장악하기 \n때문에 \n\n그 \n고생을\n하며 \n산다.\n\n가짜가\n주인행세를 \n하지만 \n\n그것이\n가짜인\n줄 \n모르기에\n\n놓아버리지를\n못하여 \n\n답답하고, \n괴롭고, \n우울하고, \n불안하게 \n산다.\n\n그러므로 \n\n마음을\n비운다는\n말은 \n알아도 \n\n실지로 \n비워 \n내지를 \n못한다.\n\n마음을\n비우지 \n못한 \n\n가운데\n \n무슨 \n일을 \n하면 \n\n금방 \n지치고\n\n싫증이\n난다.\n\n마음을 \n비우지 \n못하고 \n사는 \n\n대다수의 \n사람들은 \n\n생각과, \n고정관념, \n\n선입관의 \n노예들이다.\n\n소아본위의 \n사람은 \n\n자기의\n생각과 \n\n다른 \n생각을 \n지닌 \n사람과 \n\n다투고 \n싸우기\n마련이다. \n\n그래서 \n늘 \n\n대립,\n갈등, \n투쟁의 \n구도를\n벗어난듯 \n싶지만\n\n다시금 \n일상으로 \n돌아오면 \n\n불안 \n공포가 \n엄습한다.\n\n마음을 \n비우기 \n위해서는 \n\n내면을 \n항상 \n응시하고\n있어야\n한다.\n\n나라고\n하는 \n행위자가 \n\n내면을 \n장악하고 \n\n주인행세를 \n하지 \n않는지\n\n내면을 \n잘 \n살피는 \n것이 \n중요하다.\n\n무언가\n가려져서 \n\n답답하고\n어두우며,\n\n무언가가 \n드리워져 \n\n무거운 \n느낌을 \n알아차림이야말로,\n\n자기를 \n돌아봄이요, \n\n정신 \n차림이요, \n\n마음을 \n비움이다.\n\n자기라고\n하는 \n행위자를 \n\n발견하는 \n즉시 \n놓아버리면\n\n활력이 \n샘솟고 \n\n지성과 \n감성이 \n\n최고조에 \n달하게\n된다.\n\n그래서 \n\n마음이\n비워지면 \n\n저절로\n\n살아진다고\n말하는 \n것이다.\n\n마음을 \n비우지\n못한 \n입장에서 \n보면 \n\n죽으라는\n말로 \n들릴 \n것이다.\n\n마음을 \n비우면 \n\n아무 \n문제가 \n없다.\n\n문제가 \n생기면 \n\n다시금 \n마음을\n비우면 \n된다.\n\n마음을 \n비우면 \n\n넘치지도 \n모자라지도\n않는다.\n\n언제나\n알맞다.\n\n없는 \n듯 \n있고 \n\n있는\n듯\n없다.\n\n이것이 \n\n나를\n찾는 \n여행의 \n\n종착점인 \n동시에 \n출발점이다.\n\n그래서 \n\n무한하고\n영원한가 \n보다.\n \n\n\n-2004.01.30\n\n \n\n\n",
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      "url": "https://canon.bomnara.com/bom/000035/#B0216",
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      "url": "https://canon.bomnara.com/bom/000035/#B0223",
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      "url": "https://canon.bomnara.com/bom/000035/#B0227",
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