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  "title": "봄65. 무엇이 당신의 몸을 부리고 쓰고 움직이는가?",
  "author": "유종열",
  "volume_number": 1,
  "volume_title": "늘봄의 생활",
  "local_bom_number": 65,
  "original_written_at": "2004-05-18",
  "canonical_text": "\n\n봄65.\n\n무엇이 \n\n당신의 \n몸을 \n부리고 \n쓰고 \n움직이는가? \n\n\n누구나 \n자기 \n몸을 \n부리면서 \n산다.\n\n그러면서도 \n그 \n몸을 \n운전하는 \n운전자가 \n\n어떤 \n존재인지 \n알지 \n못한다.\n\n다시 \n말하면 \n\n자기가 \n자기를 \n깨닫지 \n못하고 \n산다.\n\n대부분의 \n사람들은 \n\n자기라고 \n하는 \n한 \n생각을 \n\n자기로 \n착각하며 \n산다.\n\n이른바 \n소아본위의 \n삶을 \n살고 \n있다.\n\n이 \n소아가 \n\n우리의 \n행동에 \n일일이 \n끼어들어 \n\n행위자, \n주체, \n주인노릇을 \n한다.\n\n깨닫지 \n못한 \n사람은 \n\n모두 \n소아본위로 \n살 \n수밖에 \n없다.\n\n소아는 \n우리들의 \n반복적인 \n사고작용으로 \n생겨난, \n\n자기라고 \n하는 \n이미지, \n영상으로서 \n\n가짜 \n자기이다.\n\n동작을 \n하는 \n순간 \n\n무엇이 \n동작을 \n주도하는지 \n\n자기의 \n내면을 \n응시하면 \n\n소아(가아)가\n주도하는 \n것이 \n아니라는 \n것을 \n당장 \n알 \n수 \n있다.\n\n그것은 \n자기라고 \n하는 \n이미지일 \n뿐 \n\n실재하는 \n것이 \n아니라는 \n것을 \n알게 \n된다.\n\n동작을 \n하면서 \n\n동작의 \n주체가 \n있는지 \n돌이켜 \n보면 \n\n누구나 \n없다는 \n것을 \n알게 \n된다.\n\n자기라고\n하는 \n주체가 \n있는 \n줄 \n알았는데 \n\n없다는 \n것을 \n알게 \n되는 \n것이다.\n\n그 \n대신 \n\n없고 \n없는 \n자리에 \n\n거대한 \n침묵, \n\n무한한 \n공간,\n\n막강한 \n에너지, \n\n빛의 \n바다가 \n\n거기에 \n있음을 \n보게 \n된다. \n\n이른바 \n\n대아 \n진아를 \n깨닫는다. \n\n본연의 \n자기, \n\n진정한 \n자기가 \n\n무엇임을 \n알게 \n되는 \n것이다.\n\n본연의 \n자기는 \n\n형상으로는 \n보이지 \n않지만 \n\n형상의 \n배후에서 \n\n형상의 \n근원이고 \n바탕이라는 \n사실도 \n알게 \n된다.\n\n자기를 \n착각하고 \n모를 \n때는 \n\n태어나 \n늙고 \n병들어 \n죽는 \n것을 \n\n자기로 \n여겨 \n\n공포와 \n슬픔을 \n벗어날 \n수 \n없었다. \n\n또한 \n자기와 \n남을 \n갈라 \n놓고 \n\n서로 \n경쟁하고 \n다투는 \n구도를 \n넘어서지 \n못하였다.\n\n그러나 \n\n진정한 \n자기, \n\n본연의 \n자기를 \n깨닫고 \n보니 \n\n자기의 \n육체 \n뿐 \n아니라 \n\n천지만물이 \n\n모두 \n자기라는 \n것을 \n알게 \n되고 \n\n자기는 \n죽고 \n사는 \n존재가 \n아니라는 \n것을 \n\n확신하게 \n되어 \n\n공포와 \n슬픔의 \n문제는 \n\n간밤의 \n꿈처럼 \n사라진다.\n\n자기의\n몸동작을 \n응시하다가 \n\n평소 \n자기로 \n착각하던 \n\n그 \n자기는 \n\n가짜이고 \n\n존재하지 \n않는 \n것이고 \n\n진정한 \n자기는\n \n남과 \n구별되는 \n것이 \n아니고 \n\n모두가 \n하나라는 \n것을 \n알게 \n된다.\n\n그러므로 \n사람이 \n달라진다. \n\n스스로 \n남에게 \n잘 \n하게 \n되고 \n\n남을 \n미워하거나\n싸우지 \n않는 \n사람이 \n된다.\n\n삶의 \n모든 \n문제가 \n\n일시에 \n풀린다.\n\n알고\n보니 \n\n전지전능한\n우주의 \n주인인 \n대아가 \n\n바로 \n나였던 \n것이다.\n\n대아가 \n사사건건 \n일일이 \n\n이 \n몸을 \n부리고 \n쓰고\n움직이고 \n있는 \n것이다.\n\n그러니 \n소아는\n\n걱정할 \n일이 \n하나도 \n없다.\n\n소아가 \n할 \n일은 \n\n오직 \n\n자기 \n몸을 \n통해 \n\n대아가 \n하는 \n생각, \n말, \n행동을 \n\n묵묵히 \n바라보고 \n아는 \n일 \n밖에 \n없다.\n\n모든 \n행동은 \n\n소아가 \n하는 \n것이 \n아니고 \n\n대아가 \n하는\n것이다.\n\n소아는 \n대아의 \n그런 \n행동을 \n알아차리는 \n\n한가지 \n일만 \n하면 \n된다.\n\n그러면\n\n자기의 \n삶은 \n\n하늘의 \n뜻대로 \n살아지는 \n것이다.\n\n혹시 \n\n실수로 \n\n소아가 \n행동을 \n주도하게 \n되면 \n\n당장 \n힘이 \n들고 \n싫증이 \n나고 \n피로하고 \n노곤해진다.\n\n그런 \n즉시 \n\n소아를\n내려 \n놓으면 \n\n당장 \n싱싱해지고 \n활기가 \n돌아온다.\n\n행위자 \n노릇을 \n하던 \n소아는\n \n대아에게 \n자리를 \n내어주고\n \n자기 \n본연의 \n임무로 \n돌아간다.\n\n소아의 \n임무는 \n\n대아가 \n진행하는 \n삶의 \n현장을\n \n보고 \n알아차리는 \n일이다.\n\n그 \n한가지 \n일만 \n하고 \n있으면 \n\n대아가 \n몸을 \n직접 \n부리고 \n쓰고 \n움직인다.\n\n소아인 \n내가\n할 \n일은 \n\n그렇게 \n돌아가는 \n모습을 \n\n오직 \n지켜보고 \n알아차리기만 \n하면 \n된다.\n\n모든 \n것은 \n\n저절로\n돌아간다. \n\n천지만물과 \n하나로 \n돌아가는 \n삶이다.\n\n이렇게 \n되어야 \n\n진정으로 \n성공한 \n인생이다.\n\n우리 \n모두 \n\n이렇게 \n살아야 \n한다.\n\n\n-2004.05.18\n\n\n\n\n",
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