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"\n\n봄80.\n\n사랑의 \n완성 \n\n\n삶은 \n\n사람을 \n완성시키기 \n위해\n존재한다.\n\n사람을 \n완성시킨다는 \n말은 \n\n사랑을 \n완성시킨다는\n \n말도 \n된다.\n\n사람의 \n몸은 \n\n남성\n혹은 \n여성으로 \n\n분리되어 \n있으므로 \n\n나머지 \n\n반쪽을 \n취하고자 \n하는 \n\n욕구가 \n생긴다.\n\n반쪽만으로서는 \n치우치고 \n부족하기 \n때문이다.\n\n그래서 \n사춘기가\n되면 \n\n이성을 \n그리워하고\n좋아하는\n\n연애감정이\n생긴다.\n\n그러나 \n연애를 \n하고 \n결혼을 \n하여 \n\n아기를 \n낳고 \n\n가정을 \n꾸리고 \n살지만\n \n내적 \n심리적으로는 \n언제나 \n\n갈등이 \n남고 \n\n부족하고\n\n한계에 \n봉착한다.\n\n비록 \n\n대상을 \n바꾸고\n\n끊임없이 \n추구하더라도 \n\n또 \n다시 \n\n벽에\n부딪힐 \n수밖에 \n없는 \n운명이다.\n\n이\n세상에\n존재하는\n\n모든\n여성(남성)을 \n\n모조리 \n소유한다\n하더라도 \n\n사태는 \n마찬가지일\n것이다.\n\n그러므로 \n우리는\n\n외적\n육체적인\n결합을\n통해서는 \n\n결코 \n사랑이 \n완성될 \n수 \n없다는 \n것을 \n\n깨닫게\n된다.\n\n이것을 \n체험하고\n깨달은\n사람만이 \n\n밖에 \n있는 \n짝을 \n\n추구하는 \n일을 \n\n포기하게 \n된다.\n\n이렇게 \n된 \n사람은 \n\n밖으로\n추구하지\n않고 \n\n드디어\n\n안으로 \n추구하기 \n시작한다.\n\n제2의 \n진정한 \n\n사춘기가 \n시작된 \n것이다.\n\n안에 \n있는 \n\n님을 \n찾아가는 \n\n사랑의 \n여정이 \n\n시작되는 \n것이다.\n\n밖으로 \n향하던 \n\n에너지를 \n돌려 \n\n안으로\n돌아보는\n\n자아탐구의 \n삶이 \n시작된다.\n\n이른바 \n\n구도의 \n열정이 \n불붙는다. \n\n사랑을 \n갈구하는\n\n간절한 \n연모의 \n정이 \n\n끊임없이\n\n안으로 \n파고 \n들어가게 \n한다.\n\n그렇게 \n하다보면 \n\n앉으나 \n서나 \n자나깨나 \n\n안으로 \n향하는 \n시선이 \n\n잠시도 \n끊어지지 \n않을 \n정도가 \n되고 \n\n그것이 \n극에 \n달하면 \n\n어느 \n순간 \n\n밖으로\n추구하는 \n일이\n\n사라지는 \n시점이 \n온다.\n\n거기에는 \n조금 \n전까지 \n\n추구하던 \n자가 \n\n갑자기 \n보이지 \n않는다.\n\n추구하던 \n자와 \n\n그 \n대상의 \n합일이 \n이루어졌기 \n때문이다.\n\n자기 \n안에 \n있는\n\n남성 \n혹은 \n여성과 \n\n하나가 \n되었기 \n때문이다.\n\n이것이 \n\n자아가 \n완성된 \n것이고 \n\n사랑이 \n완성된 \n것이다.\n\n더\n이상 \n\n외로움, \n서러움, \n그리움, \n\n부족함이 \n\n거기에 \n없다.\n\n더\n이상 \n\n반쪽이 \n아니고 \n\n온전해진 \n것이다.\n\n그리하여 \n드디어 \n\n자기가 \n누구인지 \n\n사랑이 \n무엇인지 \n\n실감이 \n간다.\n\n존재와 \n생명의 \n\n바탕과 \n근원과 \n원천이 \n\n무엇인지를\n알게 \n된다.\n\n이렇게\n되어야 \n\n밖에 \n있는 \n\n모든 \n사람을 \n\n사랑하는 \n일이 \n\n드디어 \n가능하게 \n된다.\n\n이렇게 \n되면 \n\n갈등이\n없고 \n\n이별이 \n없는 \n\n사랑의 \n삶이 \n전개된다.\n\n언제나 \n\n같이 \n잠들고, \n\n같이 \n일어나고, \n\n같이 \n밥 \n먹고, \n\n같이 \n일하고, \n\n같이 \n논다.\n\n그렇게 \n\n자기 \n안에 \n있는 \n님은 \n\n언제나 \n말없이 \n\n내가 \n하자는 \n대로 \n한다.\n\n간섭하거나\n비난하거나\n\n요구하는 \n일이 \n없다.\n\n순하고\n착하고\n\n아름답기\n그지없다.\n\n소원이 \n성취된 \n것이고\n\n성공이 \n이루어진 \n것이다.\n\n밖에 \n존재하는\n\n자기의 \n짝은 \n\n안에\n존재하는\n\n자기의 \n짝의 \n\n그림자였던 \n것이다.\n\n밖으로 \n짝을 \n이루면\n\n아기가 \n태어나고 \n\n안으로 \n짝을 \n이루면\n\n자기가 \n아기가 \n된다.\n\n이것이 \n거듭남이다.\n\n이것이 \n\n사랑의 \n완성이다.\n\n\n\n-2004.08.23\n\n\n\n\n\n", 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