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"\n\n봄20. \n\n대아의 \n고독과 \n\n소아의 \n고독\n\n\n대아를 \n실체라고 \n하면 \n\n소아는 \n그림자다.\n\n그러므로\n\n대아와\n소아는\n\n모습이 \n닮은 \n꼴이다.\n\n대아는 \n\n천지만물과 \n더불어 \n존재하는\n\n절대자의 \n고독이 \n있다고 \n하면\n\n소아는 \n\n주변과 \n환경을 \n배제하고 \n왜곡한 \n가운데\n\n차단과 \n고립에서 \n오는 \n\n고독이 \n있다.\n\n고독하기로 \n말하면 \n같다.\n\n그러나 \n완전히 \n질이 \n다른 \n고독이다.\n\n대아는 \n\n항상 \n고독을\n벗하며 \n\n고독과 \n더불어 \n살지만\n\n소아는 \n항상 \n고독을 \n싫어하고 \n\n고독으로부터 \n달아나\n\n그늘진 \n가상공간으로 \n자리를 \n옮겨 \n\n목숨을 \n부지한다.\n\n가상공간이란\n\n영화 \n구경하면서 \n영화에 \n빠지고,\n\n게임하면서 \n게임에 \n빠지고,\n\n친구와 \n노닥거리면서 \n대화에 \n빠지고,\n\n일하면서 \n일에 \n빠져\n\n현실로부터 \n\n도피하고 \n유리되는\n\n병리현상이다.\n\n그렇게 \n하기 \n위하여는\n\n반드시 \n돈이 \n필요하다.\n\n돈이 \n있어야 \n\n극장도 \n가고\n\n게임도 \n하고 \n\n공도 \n치고\n\n여행도 \n한다.\n\n소아는\n\n생각의\n노예이고 \n\n돈의 \n노예일\n수밖에 \n없다.\n\n그래서\n\n돈만\n있으면 \n행복하리라는\n\n착각을 \n버리지 \n못한다.\n\n그리고\n소아는 \n\n항상 \n지금 \n여기에 \n안주하지 \n못하고\n\n지금이 \n아닌 \n\n미래의 \n재미에 \n\n기대와 \n희망을 \n걸다가 \n보니\n\n일생을 \n살아도\n\n단 \n한순간이라도\n\n자유와 \n평화와 \n행복을 \n누리며 \n\n제대로 \n살지 \n못한다.\n\n그러므로\n\n죽음이\n닥치면\n억울해서\n\n하루라도\n제대로 \n살아보려고\n\n죽지\n않으려고\n\n발버둥을 \n친다.\n\n이러한\n삶을\n되풀이하여 \n\n멈추지 \n못하는 \n것이\n\n소아(ego)의 \n삶이다.\n\n참으로 \n가련하고 \n불쌍하고 \n\n무지몽매한 \n삶이다.\n\n진실을 \n외면하고 \n\n거짓과 \n환상에 \n빠져\n\n헛된 \n삶을 \n살고 \n있으니\n\n어떻게 \n그들을 \n구제할 \n것인가?\n\n그들을 \n구제하기에 \n앞서\n\n나부터 \n고독을 \n미워하지\n말고,\n\n고독을\n따돌리지 \n말고,\n\n고독과 \n더불어 \n살면\n\n도망자 \n신세처럼 \n\n쫓겨\n다니며 \n\n숨어 \n살지 \n않아도 \n된다.\n\n고독을\n사랑하고\n벗하는가?\n\n미워하고 \n싫어하는가?\n\n거기에서\n\n사람이 \n되느냐\n\n귀신으로 \n남느냐가 \n\n갈린다.\n\n돌아봄 \n공부 \n\n열심히\n하여\n\n늘봄의 \n생활하여야\n\n귀신을 \n면하고\n \n사람이\n된다.\n\n그러므로\n\n고독의 \n문제야말로\n\n근원적인\n문제다.\n\n\n2008. 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