{
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  "document_id": "BOM-001660",
  "revision": "R01",
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  "revision_url": "https://canon.bomnara.com/bom/001660/revisions/R01/",
  "title": "봄28. 제 머리가 심장을 갉아먹는대 이제 더 이상 못버티겠어요~",
  "author": "유종열",
  "volume_number": 15,
  "volume_title": "내면의 하늘 보기",
  "local_bom_number": 28,
  "original_written_at": null,
  "canonical_text": "\n\n봄28.\n\n제 \n머리가 \n심장을 \n갉아먹는대 \n\n이제 \n더 \n이상 \n못버티겠어요~\n\n\n“제 머리가 \n심장을 갉아먹는데 \n이제 더 이상 \n못 버티겠어요. \n안녕히 계세요. \n죄송해요.”\n\n지난 \n25일 \n오후\n4시 34분 \n\n권모(16)군의 \n어머니는 \n아들로부터 \n위와 같은 \n내용의 \n카카오톡\n(스마트폰 채팅 어플리케이션) \n메시지를\n받았다.\n\n이로부터 \n3분 \n뒤, \n\n권군은 \n자신이 \n사는 \n\n부산 \n해운대구 \n아파트 \n옥상\n20층에서 \n뛰어내려 \n\n목숨을 \n끊었다. \n\n옥상에 \n옷과 \n신발, \n휴대전화를 \n가지런히 \n놓아 \n둔 \n채였다.\n\n경찰조사 \n결과, \n권군은\n중학교 \n성적이 \n\n상위 \n2％ \n안에 \n들어야 \n입학할 \n수 \n있는 \n\n경북지역 \n자율형 \n사립고 \n2학년에 \n재학 \n중이었다. \n\n1학년 \n때 \n반장, \n\n2학년 \n때는 \n부반장을\n맡았다. \n\n입학 \n당시엔 \n450여명 \n중 \n150등 \n수준이었던 \n성적이 \n많이 \n올라 \n\n지난 \n13일 \n모의고사에서는 \n2학년 \n인문계열에서 \n전교 \n1등을 \n하기도 \n했다.\n \n학교\n주변\n지인들에 \n따르면 \n권군은 \n\n학교 \n폭력을 \n당하거나, \n우울증 \n증세도 \n없었던\n것으로\n알려졌다. \n\n지난\n22일 \n학교에서 \n벌인 \n학교폭력 \n실태조사에서 \n\n권군은 \n\"폭력을 \n당한 \n적이 \n없다\"고 \n말했다.\n \n1학년때 \n받은 \n정서행동\n특성검사에서도 \n\n문제점이\n발견되지 \n않았다. \n\n우울증 \n진료나 \n상담을 \n받은 \n적도\n\n따로\n없었다.\n\n이상은 \n\n조선일보 \n3월\n28일자 \n보도였습니다.\n\n \n머리란 \n\n생각의 \n모드를 \n뜻하고\n \n심장은 \n\n감성의 \n모드를 \n뜻\n합니다.\n \n생각은 \n감각을 \n억누르고 \n\n감각을 \n잠재시켜 \n\n생각의 \n이원성으로 \n음양상극을 \n자초하여 \n\n양자택일의 \n구도로 \n나아가 \n\n의지력을 \n발동하여 \n하고자하는 \n생각이 \n하기싫다는 \n생각을 \n억누르고 \n이기면 \n\n하기싫다는 \n생각은 \n스트레스를\n받아 \n\n갈등과 \n괴로움에 \n시달리는 \n삶을 \n살 \n수밖에 \n없습니다.\n \n감각의\n분상에서\n보면\n\n하고자 \n하는 \n생각이나 \n하기싫다는 \n\n두갈래의 \n생각이 \n전무한 \n무심이요 \n순수의식인지라 \n\n하고자하는 \n생각에도 \n기울어지지\n않고 \n\n하기싫다는 \n생각으로도 \n기울어지지 \n않아 \n\n두가지 \n양극단의 \n생각이 \n\n하나로 \n중심이 \n잡힌 \n\n평상심이요 \n본심입니다.\n \n인간교육은 \n\n이 \n본심을 \n깨닫게 \n해주는 \n\n교육을 \n시켜야 \n하는대 \n\n가정이나 \n학교나 \n사회에서도 \n\n이러한 \n교육을 \n시키는 \n곳이 \n전무하고 \n\n관심을 \n갖는 \n사람조차 \n찾아볼 \n수 \n없으니 \n\n한심하고 \n통탄할 \n일\n입니다.\n \n머리, \n생각은 \n\n차갑고\n협소유량하고\n(狹小有量)  \n\n가슴, \n심장은 \n\n따뜻하고 \n광대무량\n(廣大無量)\n합니다.\n \n그러므로 \n\n몸이 \n차갑고 \n아프고 \n\n마음(가슴)은 \n어둡고 \n불안합니다.\n \n생각의 \n모드에서는 \n\n몸이 \n아프고, \n마음이 \n괴롭고 \n\n감각의 \n모드가 \n되어야 \n\n몸이 \n따뜻하고, \n마음이 \n밝습니다.\n \n감각의\n모드가 \n되려면 \n\n하고자하는 \n생각이나 \n하기싫다는 \n생각의 \n바탕인 \n\n하고자하는 \n생각도 \n없고 \n\n하기싫다는 \n생각도 \n없는 \n\n무심, \n본심,\n \n평상심을 \n깨달아야 \n합니다. \n\n하고자 \n하는 \n생각이나 \n하기싫다는 \n생각은 \n\n잠시 \n잠깐 \n일어났다가 \n소멸되고 \n변하지만 \n\n무심일심은 \n부동하고 \n불변하여 \n\n평상심인 \n것\n입니다.\n \n이 \n부동하고 \n불변한 \n평상심을 \n깨달아 \n증득하여야 \n\n하든지 \n말든지 \n\n구애받지도 \n않고 \n\n물들지도 \n않아 \n\n일체의 \n생각을 \n거느리고 \n다스리고 \n\n자유자재하게 \n부리고 \n쓸 \n수 \n있습니다.\n \n이렇게 \n되어야 \n\n생각이 \n심장을 \n갉아먹지 \n않게 \n되어 \n\n자유와 \n평화와 \n행복을 \n누릴 \n수 \n있습니다.\n \n공부를 \n잘한다든가 \n못한다든가 \n\n사회적인 \n성공을 \n거둔다든가 \n실패한다든가 \n하는 \n문제는  \n\n자유와 \n평화와 \n행복을 \n누리는 \n문제와는 \n\n아무 \n상관이 \n없습니다.\n \n봄나라 \n책 \n열네권은 \n\n생각의 \n모드를 \n감각의 \n모드로 \n바꾸기 \n위한 \n\n인간계발 \n자아완성을 \n위한 \n\n인성교육으로 \n일관하고 \n있습니다. \n\n책이 \n발간된지가 \n어언 \n10여년이나 \n지났지만 \n\n아직도 \n세상에서는 \n알아보는 \n사람도 \n드물고 \n\n관심을\n표명하는 \n사람도 \n거의 \n없는 \n형편입니다.\n \n고작해야 \n남으로부터 \n달콤한\n위로를\n받거나 \n젖꼭지를 \n빨려고\n하는 \n\n유아적인 \n수준에 \n머물고 \n있는 \n것이 \n사실입니다.\n \n교육당국자들은 \n이러한 \n자살사태를 \n맞아 \n\n생각한다는 \n것이 \n\n교육제도나 \n법령을 \n바꾸려고 \n하는 \n것이 \n고작입니다.\n \n그렇지\n않으면 \n\n그 \n부분은 \n\n종교의 \n영역이라고 \n치부하여 \n\n발을 \n빼기 \n일쑤입니다.\n \n이번 \n권군의 \n자살은 \n\n한 \n사람의 \n문제에 \n그치지 \n않는 \n일\n입니다.\n \n그것은 \n우리 \n모두의 \n문제로서 \n\n이 \n문제를 \n근본적으로 \n해결하여야 \n할 \n\n중차대한 \n문제 \n입니다.\n \n생각의 \n이원성으로 \n말미암은 \n\n대립 \n갈등 \n투쟁의 \n\n괴로운 \n삶을 \n종식하고\n \n감각의 \n모드로 \n전환하기 \n위한\n\n교육혁명을 \n단행하여야 \n할 \n때\n입니다.\n \n권군의 \n자살을 \n계기로 \n심기일전하여 \n\n봄나라가 \n이 \n일을 \n성사하기 \n위하여 \n\n배전의 \n각오로 \n\n공부하고 \n일하기를 \n\n다 \n같이 \n서원합시다.\n \n \n  \n\n\n ",
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      "text": "제 ",
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      "text": "머리가 ",
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